Maybe it is ME causing it!

Today when I was waiting to catch up with a friend at a very busy food shop. I was thinking to take a table when it was free. There were a couple of chances to take a table. They run away quickly while I was hesitating to take it.

It made me think that when we complained about the opportunies are grabbed by the others, it maybe ourselves giving them away.

It is a fast speed society, you need to respond quickly. Great minds think alike. Often, the other already thought about what you are thinking.

I think we shouldn’t need to ask permissions to do things. Be confident! We have to master ” fake til make it”. People say guys are naturally good at it. I don’t quite agree. Everyone needs to practice! They probably practice it since they were born. Women shouldn’t be shy. We need to out there, politely with confidence. With practice, we get there!

Give YOURSELF Some Credit

Quite often I give myself a hard time or not enough credit. I think it might be due to my background. Encouragement was not the usual education strategy when I was young. In contrast, my parents often used the neighbour’s kid as my role model. For example, he got better academic scores.

After I met my husband, I found the power of encouragement. It actually helps you to believe in yourself, feel better and improve yourself. And then, I realised the power of giving yourself credit.
Once you are comfortable about what you are doing, then you can do it well. The credit will build up and the positive circulation will start.

How much credit do you give to yourself?

Be Confident

I am the type of person who will do lots of “homework” when I know I need to, but I still get a bit awkward and nervous. Now I start to realise the untrue and unnecessary impression we give to people. People may doubt our capabilities if we don’t show confidence. Especially when we are helping them with their problems. Imagine if your doctor seems to hesitate or not be sure when they talk to you; you will doubt internally.

As a young woman, I am friendly. I should be more confident about what I stand for. We are establishing our personal and professional styles. Sometimes, just being you is ok.

There still are some other tips.
– Rehearsal before important events.
– Tell yourself, you know what you doing.
– Even if you made a mistake, learn from it.
– Don’t over think it. If you think you are doing a good job, you are!

Sometimes, I am jealous about guys who seem confident about what they say and what they do. Actually, we can be one of them! Don’t underestimate your capability! You need to be comfortable and supportive to yourself before anyone else. You know you can do it! 🙂

Let it go

I’ve started in a new field two weeks ago. I think I have done “too much” to impress my new colleagues. In last few days, I was very regretted and feel sorry about myself. Then I talked to friends and family, I realised that I should let it go. I think, sometimes, you need to shut up and be quiet to think about what you really need to do.

Not saying be rude and arrogant, but humble and friendly. Then use your work, team sprit, outcome to be your approval.

So, for now, let the pass go. Doesn’t matter what you did, the hard work will speak for you.

Embrace the fear

I have accepted a senior position recently. It’s very exciting. However, I am very nervous.

I assume it is common among young women who are on the way up the corporate ladder. We are just not confident enough. We don’t doubt our capabilities but we are concerned about what other people think. It is almost like we need someone to hold our hands, pat our heads and say you will be fine.

I think we should learn how to be confident without consulting unnecessary support. It is ok to step up within our capacity. It is ok to say to yourself that you are ready, because we know we ARE! We don’t have to receive everyone’s acknowledgement before we reach out. Sometimes, just take it as a ride and you know you will survive!

But, always appreciate the support along the way from family and friends. You know you won’t make it without them.

Yeah, I am not alone

Quick thanks to mr688475 and SHE’S IN PRISON. Thank you for reading my post and liking it.

I am not alone now. (big hug)

Thanks… 🙂

Embrace the changes?! Part 2

In reality (my life), the changes occurred.

So… I have to embrace the changes.

Even I have thought about the changes before it occurred, it was still painful to accept the changes. It is like to pill a bandaid from your hairy skin, it is painful but necessary.  (PS, I am NOT hairy at all. :P)

So what I’m doing:

• Follow the strategies I’ve setup before the changes occurred
• Implement them frequently

Sounds easy, right? No…, you are wrong. The second one is harder than it looks like.

Based on the psychology, human being can lose the confidence once they get declined too many times. That means, even the setup strategies sounds pretty good, if the implementation didn’t reach the expected goals. You will lose your confidence. Then, you will start doubt yourself in doing such things. It starts a bad psychological cycle.

As a practitioner, I am lucky that I have my friends who cares and cheers me up.

I am trying to do something to keep me not insane.

I started a course I would love to do but didn’t have a chance before.

I am trying my hardest to keep my eyes on the goal. I know I will succeed if I am trying.

Last but not the least, keep smile. 🙂

Embrace the changes?! Part1

There are lots of changes in life. Sometimes you foresee them, sometimes you don’t. Some changes make you strong, some changes make you scared.

Even we are still young, however, we learned to fear. I used to love changes. They bring new, refreshing energy. Somehow, I became fearful about the uncertainty the changes bring. The feeling of not knowing what is gonna happen is mixed – frustrating, tired, nervous and a bit exciting.

Sometimes, we are forced to change. Maybe, that is the “kick” which is needed. But how to embrace the change is a question. Follow the flow? Start a new chapter? Or do nothing? (Yes, do nothing is an option.)

Should emotion be involved as well? What feels the right thing to do? What is the right thing to do? Without foreseeing the future, will you be comfortable about the decision you gonna make?

Lots of questions yet to answered. Think about them. I hope I am able to answer some soon…

Keep smiling.

Young Women’s Leadership Chapter 1

Young Women’s Leadership Chapter 1

Recently, I was honoured to be elected with a leader role with big responsibilities in the community work I am working on.

I have to share this with you that I was so nervous and excited that I lost myself for a couple days. It encourages and motivates me in such way that I am fully of energy and ideas for the team. However, I was also overwhelmed with the more responsibilities and higher expectation.

I believe whether you are leader or not, you should make sure you are under control. You need to have an idea about the dynamic with the team, the objectives you would like to lead the team to achieve and figure out a way to achieve it. Thanks to my lovely friends for their support and valuable advice.

· It is always good to know what you want to do. My problem was there are too many things I would like to start with. I note them down and prioritised them. So they won’t be lost and I won’t go crazy (just kidding) to think round and round.

· Stakeholder engagement and communication are very important. Especially, the team members are very experienced and senior than you. It makes the young leadership even hard. Respect from the team to the leadership is absolutely critical. As a leader, I don’t think you always need to lead, but you definitely need to be supported. A good engagement and smooth communication are key elements.

That is what I have figured so far. I believe there are more “tips” for young women’s leadership later on. To be continued….

The other day I met a young migrant woman, who has common questions as the others. She is not very happy with her current situation. She is not doing what she studied for and she missed the family, things she is used to.

As a migrant, I know it is very hard. You have pretty much start from the scratch. I believe you have to be 100% sure about what do you want.

It is nothing wrong to stay in the new country for a while. (e.g. a year or two) You need time to figure it out. Like buying a garment, you have to try it for fitting before you buy it. It is just sad to see the migrant who have been here for a long time but still not happy with the “new life”.

1. If you decide to settle in a foreign country, please be prepared about the cultures’ differences. A new language, brand new life style, there might be nothing in common with what you are used to. However, jump into it. Learn the language, make new friends and adopt the new life style bit by bit. You will be fine. The beginning is always hard, but once you kicked off the new life, everything actually can fly.

2. If you decide that you don’t want to settle to another country. You are not a natural linguist, and you don’t want to be one. It is nothing wrong to return to the country you were born, grown up and familiar with. A happy life is not qualified by where the individual lives but whether the individual feels happy or not. I know it is hard, but, don’t worry about the other’s judgement. You don’t have to return home with wealth but you’ve got the richest and valuable thing – experience.

Once the decision is made, you will feel relieved. The life from that point will only be forwards and onwards, because you know what you want.